“Today I wonder why it is God refers to Himself as ‘Father’ at all. This, to me, in light of the earthly representation of the role, seems a marketing mistake.” – Donald Miller

If you know my story, you know I had a religious upbringing surrounded by the talk of how much God loved me. I knew it intellectually, and I believed it. But something happened when I had kids. When I became a father, I got as close to experiencing God’s love from His point of view as I’ll ever get. In those moments, I understood why, even with all the baggage and issues attached to the word, ‘Father’, why He choose to be known by that name. I learned how God could love without any hope of getting anything in return, how He could forgive anything, and how He just wants to be with us.

I learned it by becoming a father myself.

Loving without any hope of getting anything in return

Holding my little baby in my arms was an incredible moment. They are so helpless, so vulnerable. For a very long time, everything my child ever had came from me. There was nothing my kids could offer me in return, and really, I didn’t want anything from them except to be with them.

For so long, I had tried to earn God’s love by following all the rules, and then feeling like a failure because I couldn’t follow them all. Yet my child never had to earn my love. I loved them simply because they were my child, and becoming a father made me realize that God loved me the same way.

Forgiving Anything

I never understood God’s capacity to forgive until I had my kids. There is literally nothing they can do that I would not forgive. Nothing. Not even that.

This isn’t to say that we don’t have discipline. There are moments when I have to communicate to my kids that the way they are behaving will harm them, either in the immediate or in the future. They don’t like it when I discipline them, and frankly I’m not a great fan of it either. But it never comes to define the relationship because whatever was done will be forgiven. We will end the night, maybe with tears, but hugging each other, and I will remind them how much I love them.

Just Wanting Presence

I live for 6:00pm to 8:00pm. Those are the two hours when everyone in my house is awake and together. They are the best two hours of my day.

I never understood before why God would want to spend time with me. I’m messed up, and I screw up His plans all the time.

Yet, none of that stuff matters with my kids. I don’t care if they’re messed up, or if they’ve screwed up something. I just want to hear them call my name when I walk in the door, and hug them. Then I want to hear all about their day.

That’s all God’s wants — to hear us call His name and share our lives with Him.

God the Father

I don’t think I’m too off base here. Jesus even made a direct comparison between the earthy father and the Heavenly Father.

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! - Matthew 7:11 (parallel text in Luke 11:13)

Jesus isn’t being mean here, He is simply pointing out that earthly father’s operate out of their limited abilities and dysfunctions.

The Great Divorce

I never want to be seperated from my kids by divorce, but God is seperated from His kids by what C.S. Lewis called “The Great Divorce” between God and man.

When you really boil it down the message of Christianity is this:

God is a daddy in a heaven who just wants to be with his kids. But his kids have been separated from him by the Great Divorce. So he sends love letters (the Bible), and sends his Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to try to communicate to His kids that He loves them, that He wants to be with them, and that one day, soon, He will be with them.

Its really not anymore complicated than that.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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One example was that previously on sites with chat rooms, my daughter (and everyone else in the chat room) was limited to pre written phrases. Now she could access chat rooms that allowed you to type whatever you wanted.

Sites can now also being collecting personal information about her. I’m not thrilled about this.

COPPA

I immediately researched the issue and it turns out our friends in Washington, DC and specifically the FCC (Federal Communication Commissions) were the guys responsible. A law called COPPA (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act) was passed with the lofty goal of protecting children under 13 from overzealous marketers, and to stop sites from collecting information on them.

Congress, in all its vast wisdom, decided that by 13 a child could understand the safety and privacy issues that come with using the Internet.

What’s So Magical About Turning 13?

My somewhat dubious skills at using Google failed to locate any reasoning given within COPPA as to why 13 was chosen. The only significance given to the age that I’m aware of is the Bar and Bat Mitzvah, the Jewish coming of age ritual. I have no idea if that idea influenced the writers of COPPA.

The most logical significance of thirteen is that the child has become a teenager, an and adolescent. It is a transitional time where they go from child to adult. In that way, it makes sense.

At the end of the day, the lawmakers were going to have to choose an age. To some degree whatever they chose was going to be arbitrary. Kids mature at such different rates during the early teen years. Two thirteen-year-olds might be radically different in their ability to really understand the consequences of their actions, online or offline.

Maybe we have sheltered my daughter. Actually, I’m fairly certain we’ve sheltered my daughter. We are proactive in filtering her media on television, and the Internet. I’m just not sure she is ready to understand the safety and privacy issues that come with using the Internet. There are times I’m not sure I fully understand myself.

What Am I Going To Do About It?

We can’t change the law. We have talked to her about using the computer. I have parental controls set up so that she can only use her devices during certain times of the day, and we make sure the main computer is in the family room. She doesn’t have a TV or computer in her bedroom. We monitor where she goes, and we haven’t let her have her own email account. When she does, she will have to give us the password and we will check it periodically.

But in the end, it is a sign that my daughter is growing up. Tanis Half-Elven in the Dragonlance Chronices liked to say “We raise our children to leave us.”

I’m just now starting to understand what he meant.

Did you know about COPPA? What precautions to you take with your kids when they go online?

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Is using an Online Dating Site demonstrating a lack of faith in God’s provision for your future spouse?

Focus on the Family has an interesting article called Is Online Dating Biblical? In other words are Christians allowed by the Bible (and by extension God/Jesus) to use online dating sites.

There are actually several online dating sites aimed specifically at self identified Christians. I’m sure the people who run those sites think its okay. In their view using an online dating site is just a tool, no different than being introduced to your future spouse any other way.

The Focus article does a good job of presenting both sides of the argument, and then gives some solid strategies for turning the online relationship into an offline relationship. I recommend you read it. I’ll wait.

I’d like to discuss one of the reasons they gave for Christians to not use online dating sites. This is the idea that using the site demonstrates “a lack of faith in God’s provision of a spouse.”

Here again, we return to the importance of what someone believes about how active God is in planet Earth. Is God moving people around planet Earth with job losses, job promotions, flat tires, and chance encounters to ensure that just the right two people meet up at the right

moment to begin a relationship that will lead to matrimony?

I look at my own life. If I hadn’t have dropped out of college when I did, I wouldn’t have been home the fall that I starting dating my wife. There’s a good chance someone else might have asked her out while I was in school, and we may never have gotten married.

Would that have somehow violated God’s perfect plan for our lives? Would I, now unable to

wed the person I was supposed to marry, go throughout my life as a bachelor? Or worse, would I have married someone else (I don’t do alone well), taking someone else’s perfect person as my own?

Or what i

f my wife wasn’t the right person? I wasn’t exactly following God’s plan for my life when I dropped out. At the time, I wasn’t even interested in what that plan may have been. What if I was supposed to stay in school, and meet someone that semester and marry her. Not only is it now impossible for me to marry the right person, it is also impossible for her to marry the right person.

It only takes one person out of the several billionon the planet to make a free will mistake and the whole system goes haywire. The chance of one person in several billion making a mistake is pretty much 100%, and that makes the chance that you will find the one perfect person for you about 0%.

What I find far more likely is that I could have married any number of women. It simply depended on who I would be dating in my early to mid 20s when most people decide they are ready to get married.

It would then be up to us, as a couple, to make choices (free will decisions) every day. If we made good decisions, and lived according to the Biblical model of marriage (husbands sacrificially loving their wives and putting their wives needs ahead of their own, and wives loving their husbands and following their Christ-like example) then we would create and build a happy marriage.

There isn’t one perfect person out there for you. There are a series of decisions to be made by two people in relationship with one another. How that relationship starts is pure happenstance, and I see no demonstration of a lack of faith by using the modern tool of an online dating site.

Image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Life’s full of lots of dream-stealers always telling you you need to do something more sensible. I think it doesn’t matter what your dream is, just fight the dream-stealers and hold onto it. - Bear Grylls

Scooter, my two year old  son found a ball and toddled over to the small hoop that was barely taller than he was. He lifted the ball up and pushed it into the hoop. It dropped through. I clapped my hands together and told him ‘good job’. This elicted a squeal of delight. He picked it up again and repeated the process. Once more I cheered. He giggled and squealed again.

I would pay good money to hear that sound.

Then from behind me an older voice called out, “Don’t get too involved in that Scooter. You don’t come from tall people, and basketball is a tall man’s game.”

I knew in that moment, I had encountered the mythical beast known as the Dream Stealer.

Let’s put aside for the moment that my son is two years old and he can’t even say the word basketball. “Back-et” is about as close as he gets. Let’s put aside that my son likely didn’t hear the comment, and even if he did there’s very little chance he understood it.

What would possess someone to say something like that?

Saving You From Yourself

I have to believe the person had the best interest of my son at heart. I really do. Dream Stealers really believe they are helping you. They know, perhaps from their own painful experiences, just how much it hurts when a dream is unfulfilled. Part of their motivation is to save the dreamer from that hurt.

Saving Themselves

They may also be trying to spare themselves the pain of watching someone they care about suffer an unfulfilled dream. Having to watch someone go through a painful experience can be even harder than experiencing ourselves.

Knowing the Odds

They know how hard it is to succeed. They know the odds. But usually, they are taking it all the way to the extreme. They are looking at the odds of making it to the NBA, or writing a best seller, or becoming President. They never look at the smaller accomplishments.

Passion

Now, what was said was true. My son and I don’t come from tall people. I’m 5’8″. In moments of vanity, I claim to be 5’9″ or even 5’10″. People rarely question. They look at me cross-eyed if I say 5’11, and they’ll call me a liar to my face if I dare say 6’0″.

But why should a lack of height stop my son if he truly develops a passion to play basketball. Ever since that outing, “backet ball” is all he wants to talk about or do. Muggsy Bogues who played in the NBA and was only 5’3″ tall. Size isn’t everything.

Maybe he never makes it to the NBA. Maybe he never even makes his High School team. How horrible would it be if all that happened was he developed a passion for the game, and just played on playgrounds, or for an Upwards team. There are many levels of success. Just because you don’t achieve the highest levels doesn’t make you a failure.

Seasons

He’s two. In a week, he might have forgotten all about it. Before we went to the outing, all he wanted to talk about was ‘pirites’. I had no concerns he was next Edward Teach. Before that it was ‘beep cars’. He’s going to try many things. I hope we can find the one that makes him come alive, and that he has a true passion to do.

Dream Stealer

Everyone who decides to pursue a great dream is going to attract dream stealers. They mean well, and they may sincerely have your best interest at heart. But they give voice to the fears and doubts every dreamer harbors in their heart and mind. We have to be careful to chose the voices we listen to. They will be the people who influence us.

Image courtesy of Arvind Balaraman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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This is how I taught my daughter to think before she speaks.

I used a little mnemonic to help her decide what she should say and what she should keep to herself. I didn’t come up with this on my own, and I regret that I’ve forgotten who originally came up with it. If anyone knows, please drop me a line in the comments so I can be sure to give the person the proper credit.

The lesson is to take an acronym of the word “think” and turn it into a five part test. The “think” acronym is thoughtful, helpful, instructive, necessary, kind. If what we were about to say passes all five tests, we go ahead and say it. If it fails even one test, we are supposed to keep it ourselves.

Thoughtful

Have we given what we are about to say much thought or are we just ‘spouting off’? Listen to what we are about to say. Have we chosen the best words? What are we trying to communicate? Is there a better way to say it?

Also look around and think about how those people will they react to what we are about to say. Just pause long enough to consider others.

Helpful

This one is pretty simple. How can we most improve the conversation or situation? Is what we are about to say actually going to help? Are we making the situation better or worse by adding these words? Would it be more helpful to not say anything at this moment? Many times when I’m having a conversation with my wife, it is more helpful to keep quiet.

Instructive

Is what we are about to say going to give our audience any new information? A key with this one is to recall that this isn’t the only test. The new information must pass the other four as well, especially Helpful and Necessary.

Necessary

This one can be difficult. It is asking if we really need to say whatever we want to say right now. Sometimes we talk to hear our own voice, or to fill an uncomfortable silence. If we are going to make every word count, then every word must have a strong reason for being said.

Kind

It amazing that sometimes we can have something to say that is instructional, necessary, and helpful. We’ve thought about it, and we think we’ve chosen the best words. But then we come to final test. Are we going to say this in the kindest way possible. Christians are commanded in scripture to speak the truth, in love. That means making it in some way kind.

Sometimes we have to say hard things. Things that will hurt. But we can still be kind by making sure that we assure the other person of how much we care about them, and how valuable they are to us before we say the hard thing.

If we don’t care about them, and if they aren’t that valuable to us, or we can’t sincerely communicate that in a way they will believe, then maybe we aren’t the right people to say the hard thing.

I’d love to tell you that this has been a smashing success and both my daughter and I are much smarter about thinking before we speak. But we still make mistakes, even to each other. In those circumstances, THINK provides a context to discuss what was said.

What do you….think? Could you use THINK to help you or someone you love?

photo: Flickr Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0 Generic by Sam Howzit

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This was actually much harder than I originally thought it was going to be. I don’t use a ton of apps on my phone, but the apps I do have I use constantly. I’m going to skip the really obvious choices, even though they get the most use on my phone. Most people already know about Facebook, Twitter, Shazam, and  Pandora. I also love having Chrome on my phone and sharing bookmarks between it and my desktop.

But here are five apps you might not know about that I love.

Baby Rattle

Baby Rattle is a great app that I use to distract my two-year old when we’re standing in line or at one of his old sister’s events. The app makes a sound like a baby rattle, and has several backgrounds. The first one is a bunch of animals that bounce around the screen. If you touch one of the animals, it makes its sound. The lion roars, the duck quacks. There is also an underwater scene with fish swimming, an ABC 123 scene, a holiday scene with snow globes and bells that plays Jingle Bells, even in the middle of June. There’s also a sky scene with planes, and helicopters.

But my favorite feature is the child lock. There is literally no way for the child to get out of the program. You don’t have to worry about your kid accidentally deleting a bunch of photos or ordering hundreds of dollars of apps.

To exit, you have to click the menu, then click exit and then enter a specific three digit code. The code is on the screen, but since most preschoolers can’t read, that’s not a problem.

Amazon App Store

What? An app store? Why wouldn’t I just use Google Play? I own a Kindle Fire and they require you to get your apps through the Amazon App Store. My RAZR doesn’t care which one so I just use Amazon.

But the biggest reason I love Amazon is I’m a cheap son of a gun, and every day the Amazon App Store takes one of their paid apps and makes them available for free. They aren’t always apps I’m interested in, but sometimes they are and I get a great them for freeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Helidroid Battle Pro

One of the paid apps that I recently got for free from the Amazon App Store is currently my favorite game to play on my phone: Helidroid Battle Pro.

You face off against an AI opponent with remote controlled helicopters that look like some of the coolest machines in the sky. I loved the Apache helicopter growing up and the Comanche is a recent favorite. Your job is to blow the other helicopter out of the sky with machine guns and missiles while flying around a bedroom, living room,  or kitchen.

The controls are fairly intuitive and its great fun.

Tweetcaster

Everyone knows and loves Twitter, and while Tweetdeck has many loyal followers, I’m a fan of Tweetcaster. Tweetcaster has an adorable take on the Twitter bird. I mean just look at him.

Its also made by a company called One Louder apps, a name inspired by the movie, This is Spinal Tap. That takes the cool factor to 11!

The interface is intuitive, and easy to use. The ad supported version has ads that are unobtrusive and out of the way.

It suports my lists (and I don’t how I could use twitter without lists!), as well as all the other popular Twitter features. My only regret is it doesn’t have an MT (Modified Tweet) button.

Bible

There are plenty of Bible apps on the Google Play store, but my favorite is You Version, the Bible app. Like most Bible apps, it has a ton of versions and translations. I love to read a scripture in several different translations. One of my favorite translation right now is The Message which is a very modern paraphrase.

You Version also has reading plans to read the Bible in a year, or explore a topic for a week or month. Certain translations are available with audio which is great for the car. Everyday, you get a random verse when you start up the application.

Those are my favorite Apps. What are yours?

The post My 5 favorite Android Apps appeared first on Ted the Third.

Let’s use the example of a hiring manager. If a person believes that God intervenes and will give them the job, it might allow them to be more relaxed during the interview, but someone how doesn’t believe God is going to intervene might be more motivated to go the extra mile and do everything they can do land the position.

My pastor put forward the idea that God won’t override the hiring manager’s free will decision. The guy is going to hire who he wants. I can agree with that to point, but I believe the Bible teaches that God might choose to influence the hiring managers heart. That influence might be just enough for a close decision to swing from not hired to hired.

I land on the side of that says that God does intervene in day to day life. He influences and changes attitudes in people.

We have a tradition at my church that if you want to back up a belief with scripture, you have to find at a minimum of three supporting scriptures. Its an application of the three witnesses that scripture talks about for supporting the truth.

Here are my ‘witnesses’ to God intervening and changing attitudes of people.

• For seven days they celebrated with joy the Festival of Unleavened Bread, because the Lord had filled them with joy by changing the attitude of the king of Assyria so that he assisted them in the work on the house of God, the God of Israel. Ezra 6:22 New International Version (NIV)
• But the Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart and he would not listen to Moses and Aaron, just as the Lord had said to Moses. Exodus 9:12
• Also in 10:20, 10:27, 11:10, 14:8
• For it was the Lord himself who hardened their hearts to wage war against Israel, so that he might destroy them totally, exterminating them without mercy, as the Lord had commanded Moses. Joshua 11:20
• 17 The sentence is by the decree of the watchers, the decision by the word of the holy ones, to the end that the living may know that the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will and sets over it the lowliest of men.’ Daniel 4:17
• 6 For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. 7 But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. Psalm 75:6 King James Version (KJV)
• 9 For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. 2 Chronicles 16:9 New King James Version (NKJV)

How is God going to ‘show himself strong’ unless He intervenes in planet earth?

Aside:

Sometimes this subject is brought up in regards to the decision of people to follow Christ. I don’t have time to delve deep on this today (let me know in the comments if you want me to discuss it at a later date), however; I want to say emphatically I don’t buy it. No one’s decision is made until they make it. Everyone gets a shot, and everyone at some point will make their choice.

The post Is God Involved in Our Lives? appeared first on Ted the Third.

Talented writer, artist, and blogger Tami Moore got me thinking about this when she wrote a great post on writing entertaining, believable romance between characters. She wanted to make a distinction between lust and romantic love.

She stated it this way:

 ”love is when someone holds the happiness of another person above their own” – Tami Moore

That’s a great definition, but I would submit that it covers feelings that are far beyond romantic love. In fact, it’s pretty much a paraphrase of the way Christians are commanded to love each other in Philippians 2:3:

“Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

This is the way I am to treat all people in my life, not just the ones I’m romantically interested in. This is where the English language really does love wrong. We just have that one word, love, to describe all these different emotions and levels of feelings.

Now if you want to talk about love, you need Greek. Those were people who understood how to handle love. The Greek language had no less than five separate words to describe the various kinds of love.

Chris Legg, licensed profession counselor, gave an excellent explanation of the five Greek words on his blog.

Mania

Chris: The word ‘lust’ is probably not strong enough – ‘obsession’ is closer to the word. This is the love of possession. I ‘mania’ that which I obsessively desire to own. It is generally seen as taking over the ‘lover’ like insanity – thus the connection to modern concepts of madness (kleptomania, pyromania). 

This is that early relationship love where you feel like you are just going to burst if you don’t possess your beloved.

I would also contend that this is probably the word we would use for fandom like my love of the Carolina Panthers. Fan, of course, being a shortened version of the word Fanatic and it shares the manic connotations.

Eros

Chris says: obviously the root word for “erotic,” but it does not describe sexual love only, it actually describes all emotional love; the feeling of love. Eros love is that insatiable desire to be near the target of this love.

This is what we most commonly associate with romantic love. It’s that powerful emotion of love we feel. But like all emotions it can’t stay red hot all the time or we would just burn out. But when it goes sometimes we are convinced we’ve fallen out of love.

Eros is not used a single time in the portions of the Bible that were originally written in Greek.

Philos

Chris says: brotherly/friendship love. Philos describes the love between two people who have common interests and experiences, or a fondness for. it says “I love who we are together,” or in case of a non-person: “I am fond of this food.” Philos love generally grows over time.

Here we have the friendship love. This would also be the word I would use for loving Moe’s Triple Lindy Burrito. De-lici-ous!

There’s got to be a component of Philos in any long standing romantic relationship. It’s what you can fall back on when Eros is in an ebb.

Storgy

Chris says: the love one has for a dependent. It is commonly called “motherly love.”

Hey, Chris, its also fatherly love. Dads love their kids, too! This would probably also be the word I would use to describe the love I had for Lucky, my sweet American Short-hair mix that we had for 16 years before he passed away in 2012.

Agapeo

Chris says: Agape love is entirely about the lover, and has nothing whatsoever to do with the one loved. Agape love, in its purest form, requires no payment or favor in response. It says “I love you because I choose/commit to.”

The most common translation I’ve heard for agapeo love is unconditional love. I would say it’s the highest, and most difficult form of love.

It’s also the word that God chose to describe his love for us (John 3:16, all of 1st John). It’s the love God wants Christians to have for one another and their neighbors. It’s the word love used in 1st Corinthians 13, which some have called the greatest treatise on love ever written.

Don’t you wish English had handled love more like the Greeks?

Image courtesy of supakitmod / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The post The English Language Does Love Wrong appeared first on Ted the Third.

Friend of the blog Patrick Phillips recently posted Seven Reasons he keeps blogging from a list of 21 Reasons to Keep Blogging by Craig McBreen.

I’d encourage you to take a look at my reasons, and Patrick’s’ reasons as well as the original post. Think about why you blog or don’t blog.

It fine-tunes your communication skills

Writers get better by writing. That’s true for a blog post or a novel.

For the writer, blogging is little bit like going to the gym. It’s our opportunity to work out, and to find others who are passionate about the same things we are. Sometimes we try a new exercise, or new machine. As we get better, we find we can go longer, and not need to take as many breaks. What once felt punishing becomes fun. It’s a way everyday to get a little better at what we do.

You become a better salesperson

I have often quipped to my friends that if I had to live off of what I could sell, I’d starve. I don’t have either the personality or temperament for sales, and my colossal failures at professional sales jobs proved it.

Outside of the odd affliate link, I’m not really selling any products through the blog. My whole goal is just to get eyeballs on my site. Even in that endeavor, I have to sell. I have to sell people on the idea that they will get great content on my site. I have sell my ability to produce posts that educate, or entertain.

You hone your observational skills

I’m much more aware of everything happening around me. Every bit of news, personal interaction, or life experience becomes potential fuel for the blog. This is even more true when I’m challenging myself to write 30 posts in 30 days!

It improves your debating skills

Sometimes I’ll make a post in response to something I’ve observed because I want to debate either my own initial conclusion or the conclusion of the author. I’ve had to learn about ad hominem attacks, straw-man, and other common debating terms.

I’ve also learned just from the debate itself. I have a follower on Twitter who often disagrees with me, but we have some respectful, and informative debates. We rarely, if ever, change the other persons position, but I’ve learned so much in the exchanges, and I’ve learned to value our conversations greatly.

You develop thick skin

Putting your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes out in public makes you a target for people. Some people simply aren’t going to like what you post, and some will feel compelled to let you know about it.

This is an ongoing challenge for me. I’m a people pleaser by nature. I want to be liked, by everybody, even though I know that’s impossible.

Another word for thick skin is callus. Calluses are developed by repeated friction, pressure, or other irritation (thank you Wikipedia). Blogging puts me in a situation to experience that pressure, and that friction. It forces me, in a sink or swim kind of ultimatum, to develop that thick skin.

You learn to be your own boss

Nobody is going to make me write a blog post. No one may even ask me why I haven’t written a blog post after a day, a week, or a month goes by without one. When it comes to the blog, I have to be my own boss, or nothing is going to get accomplished. I have to be “chief cook and bottle washer”, doing both the sexy, glamorous work and the unseen, ugly jobs nobody wants to do. (Really? I have to do another editing pass?)

It’s weird being your own boss. You have to find an inner motivation, and inner dream or goal. Then the dream or the goal becomes the boss. You answer to it. My goal is to have 100 unique visitors a day by the end of year. That becomes the boss.

You have an accountability platform

While you have to be your own boss, eventually readers find you, and before you know it you’ve got a group of people who are just waiting for the next bit of wisdom to fly off your fingertips. This can be where my people pleaser weakness can turn into strength. I don’t want to let those people down. They are counting on me. That will get me off the couch.

My readers become the witnesses that I said what I was going to do. Now I have to do it.

I’m curious. Do you blog? Why? If you don’t blog, I’d be interested in hearing why you don’t.

photo: Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0 Generic by Robin Hamman

The post Why Do You Still Blog? appeared first on Ted the Third.

Blogger extraordinaire Jeff Goins was talking on his blog about how he had lost a bit of craft has he tried to ‘fake it until he made it’. While it wasn’t the thrust of the blog post, he laid out three important habits that he cultivated in his life to develop his writing skills.

“In college, I was really intentional about developing my writing skills … I took electives in writing that forced me to write everyday, to share my work with others, and to read good writing”

Like the famous three rivers of Pittsburgh, these habits will come together to send you further on your writing journey.

Write Everyday

I love having daily goals. It allows me to break down a big project like a novel into manageable bits, but more than than it allows to a bit of satisfaction as I lay my head on my pillow that yeah, I made progress today. I’m a little closer to my big goals because I hit my little goals.

As I learned writing my short story for Holly Lisle‘s contest,  thinking (or talking) about writing and writing are, in fact, two very different things. Writing is one of those peculiar things in life that you only get better at by doing.

Personal finance guru Dave Ramsey is famous for saying that “Personal finance is 80% BEHAVIOR and only 20% HEAD KNOWLEDGE.”

I’m coming to the conclusion that writing is similar. There’s a certain amount of head knowledge I need. This means learning concepts like grammar rules, and story structure.

It wouldn’t shock me to learn that most of the head knowledge I need I’ve acquired through Holly Lisle’s excellent “How to Think Sideways” (affiliate link), Randy Ingermansons “Writing Fiction for Dummys” (affiliate link), and Janet Decker‘s six week mentoring course.

But then there’s the behavior side when I have to, as Chuck Wendig would say, weld my derriere to the chair and write.

Every. Day.

Share My Work With Others

When it comes to art, I’ve observed that Humans, as a species, tend to be really bad at evaluating their own efforts. What we think is great flops. What we just weren’t sure about is a hit.

By having someone else read my writing and give me feedback, I’m getting lessons custom tailored for exactly where I’m at skill wise. It’s hard to take sometimes. It hurts. As much as we know we need the critique, all we really want is for our critique partners to love us…err…I mean love our work.

This is where the wonderful men and women who make up Saucy Ink have made such a tremendous differece to my writing. It’s also one of the chief benefits of Ms. Decker’s mentoring program. For six weeks, you write, and she gives you feedback.

I’ve discovered it is also really important who you pick to give you critique. They will only be able to give you feedback based upon their own training and understanding of what a good story looks like.

Read Good Writing

Confession time, it took me a while to get my head around this one. Now, I have to agree with so many others who have gone before me. You can’t be a great writer if you aren’t a great reader of great writing.

We are training our brains to produce good writing. We practice and practice by writing everyday. Our critique partners can show us our strengths and weaknesses. Reading can show our brain what good writing looks like. We can see how best selling authors handle their stories, and consciously or maybe even subconsciously, we start to pick up on the tricks.

How about you? Do you find these habits helpful for improving your writing?

photo: Wikipedia

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